Garden Gnomes of Skye Crafts

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Sunday, October 01, 2006

Cast iron garden gnomes

The Cast Iron garden gnomes are so hot. They make a great garden heirloom or a wonderful gift.

Problems with Florida

sorry, it's been too long for me to get back into my old story!

We operate out of the west coast of Florida. We moved down here about 2 years ago from New Hampshire. Yes, it was quite a move and such an extreme in temperatures.

Well, Pasco county ain't what we expected nor desired. For starters, it has dubbed itself "The Nature Coast". Now, of course I envisioned scores of Palm trees and serene scenes. Right? Wrong. Nature Coast means Walmart after Walmart after Dennys after Walgreens and so on and so forth the nightmare continues. They chop down the groves of trees and nature to make way for new annoying cookie cutter development homes. I moved into an old house, so I am not a hypocrite on this one.

Next, originally we moved out of NY to NH to get away from the rat race and nasty hostile Long Islanders. Well, guess what? They are all here! Everywhere I go, someone is from where I ran from. GRRRRRR.

Next, this place is overdeveloped yet with no urbanization. It has a huge population but with no benefits of having one. I mean no trains, no museums, no culture etc. We drive down to Tampa almost weekly to get to some museums. So, it's like why do we live in this over populated stress pit without the pro points of living in one?

our next move will be to a place that has a city, perhaps built around a university but with no suburbs.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bored humans and tin cans

The bored young humans have been polluting the environment for some time now. Tis sad, it is. They have these beauitful trees and streams and we gnomes always find inferior mead mini barrels and other human waste. We gnomes , some trolls, the pixies and the fairies as well as other yard decor gather the trash monthly and put it in the human recepticles. We look jeasously at the humans. They rule the land by their might and we just adorn their yards, yet they care not for our land that we all share. Well, not all of them, I speak in haste. Some humans are very envirnmental.

So, which brings me back to Zeedrilla's message. The humans will strike tonight. They play pranks , these humans. They will steal us "garden decor" from our very villages. We must prepare for them.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Zeedrilla's message

Chipawa, the squirrel climbed down from Zeedrilla's shoulder and waited for the black river to become quiet. He then jumped into the black river and ran and jumped over to where I stand. I am next to an old donkey named Hirum, pulled a cart filled with mainly potatoe bugs. Sometimes HIRUM pulls seasonal flowers or pulls a pumpkin but most of the time he is busy pulling potatoe bugs and rain water. Anyway, Chipwa jumps onto Hirum and jumps down over to me with a message from Zeedrilla.

At night all of us "yard art" or "garden decor", as we have been so dubbed , bask under Madam Moon's soothing glow and embark on adventures. We must do this under Madam Moons watchful gaze since we do not want the all of the humans catching on. However, when Sir Sunshine is looking down at us, we must use the messenger service to get messages back and forth. Chipawa is employed by the messenger service.

He proceeded to tell me the urgent message. A new group of young humans were quite bored with being human and started to plan and plot some vandal tactics. We are now targets of the human's boredom. beed dee be oh no.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Across the street

Hi hoe, bee dee bah bo. Frosth here, folksies.

I have been looking at the dwelling across the black river. When the black river is not busy with the motorized carts with wagon wheels that humans roam in, I can really see the dwelling completely.

Three ducks, a giant fairy from the village of Yalden, and some new frogs from the bog sit out looking at us from their house. Zeedrella, the fairy, goes on flights at night. Sometimes she drops off treats for me, my mrs and our wee ones. Today though, Zeedrella looked frightened. She is poised for the humans almost taking flight, with her wings spread and one glossy foot in front of the other. She gazed at me and her eyes sent me messages that reminded me of the time Alabaster, my youngest gnomeling, fell in to the black river and a cart came speeding towards him. I pulled with all my might but could not get him back onto the land. I thanked my lucky mushrooms when the lawn jockey riding a brown deer from two human dwellings down came racing along, like a pixie hitching a ride on a humming bird, andwith one fell swoop rescued Alabaster from being crushed by the speeding cart.

Zeedrella's look was similar. She was scared of something. I wonder what it could be?

Monday, May 08, 2006

I am being taken over..........

beede beede bop bop.
Ok, I am being taken over by Frosth, the blogging garden gnome. May i introduce you to Frosth, himself.

hi there, folks. I am Frosth, the garden gnome. I prefer Sir Frosth, if you please. I am just a little garden gnome hanging out in the front yard. I watch the world go by and fight varous gnome beatles and battles. This morning, I woke with such a clattering bang bang that my mushroom shook like a wild pixie stuck in a windstorm. I peered around it only to spy two young humans tearing down a clankity clank sign post. I feared for mee self, I did. Their expressions were no different from the smirky rage of a troll trying to eat an earthworm dinner. Some lady human yelled out her window in another dwelling and the young humans ran off faster then a fairy hitching a ride on a bumblebee.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Starting a Niche Business

Ahh, I am in the beginning of starting a niche business. I am selling garden gnomes. Those little bearded men that sit out in old ladies backyards. No, not your grandpa's viagra popping poker club. I mean little gnomes. Foe of the troll. Friend to the earth and good luck to whomever has one in their garden.

Garden Gnomes started in thurigia, Germany in the 1880s. This man, named Griebel, observed miners stooped over in them mines all day. He thought that this would be a good sculpture to produce. He got August Heissner to hellp him out and draw it. The Heissner gnome became a big hit. The miners would buy their likeness and for the fact that a garden gnome doesn't need any maintenence.

So, that brings me to me. I was aching to find employment and working for someone else in a cubicle would suck out my soul and render me helpless. So, I looked out my window and saw my collection of garden gnomes. Their wise kind faces smiled back at me with a look that made me feel wonderful. I realized I should sell what I like. That would be Garden Gnomes.